|
Post by CCADP on May 15, 2005 0:09:19 GMT -5
And; having done this site for 8 years; I have to say that the vast majority of people who use this site and correspond with prisoners, do so as a result of wanting to make a difference on a personal level; because of their commitment to the fight against the death penalty. Others do so truly out of a desire to befriend and give a human connection to some of these most hated and forgotten members of society. Many are Amnesty activists; law students; paralegals; people studying criminal justice, etc. There has always been a tradition; also; of churches and religious groups writing to DR prisoners. The people who decide to write to death row prisoners; come from all of these perspectives. They are men and women, young and old; law students and grandmothers, nuns, buddhist spiritual workers, ex police officers, teachers, psychologists, family members of murder victims, doctors, musicians, actresses, and many, many, more nice, normal, and compassionate members of society; trying to make a difference.
|
|
|
Post by CCADP on May 15, 2005 0:12:24 GMT -5
DEATH ROW INMATE RICHARD ROSSI ON PENPALS : THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP A Writing By Richard Rossi September, 1999 When I decided to reach out to the outside world and find some friends, it was back in 1986. I wrote to a number of colleges, pen pal organisations, church groups, just about anyone who would hear me. I received some answers. Believe it or not, I still have some of the friends I made 13 years ago. That in itself says a lot about friendships. Over the years I have become a writer and have attracted additional friendships. This simple practice of letter writing is lost on many people. Before prison, I was like many others, I did not write many letters and the mail just brought bills to be paid. The telephone had supplanted the mail. It is not easy to find people who care to write letters these days. The friendships I have developed through letters have taught me so much. The letters from my friends are my life. They enable me to endure this cruel and miserable existence. I see mayhem and insanity around me every day of my life. Men who have no focus, no support, no reason to live. Most engage in watching mind-numbing and senseless TV comedies or other such programs, or they argue and exchange anger with each other. All this in response to the pressure of the loneliness of death row. I live for my letters with news from my friends. They have become my extended family. They are the root system that keeps me anchored and in touch with reality. Certainly a reason for living when little else remains. A Yin and Yang surely exist here. It leads me to believe that perhaps there is more to life than all the pain and suffering. After all, there is a dichotomy here. On the one hand, life has dealt me a death blow, taken all I have, and replaced it with pain and loneliness. A life with little meaning and less value. A cul-de-sac of dead ends, worry and frustration. But all is changed due to the unflappable spirit and love of total strangers. Who are these people? Why do they care about me, a person branded as the "worst of the worst", a blight on society, a seemingly worthless individual? Some would callously call these friends "do gooders", or "bleeding hearts". However, this is not so - the truth lies beneath the surface. My friends have become the essence of life to me. The meaning of life. For life without them would be totally meaningless. I am certain that I would have pulled the plug on this cruel hoax called life a long time ago were it not for my friends. Bent as it would appear to be solely on revenge, what this uncaring society has done by warehousing me and dismissing me as worthless has been countered by my friends, who have restored my faith with love. Unconditional love. I liken my friends to doves of peace dropping seeds of love and support at random. These seeds take root in the harshest of environments, even here in the desert. The roots spread like daisy chains and anchor me to the world. So strong are these roots that they withstand the constant tugging of those who see me as a mere weed in their garden and desire only to eliminate me. Weeds have no purpose and are killed. My life has been nurtured by my friendships. How much strength I get to face this adversity is amazing. The cumulative effect of my friends is that I have been taught the real meaning of brotherhood and love. Rather than be left to bemoan the cold reality of my world on death row, and the hardships it bestows on me daily, I consider myself to be an extraordinarily fortunate and wealthy man. How amazing to find that love and compassion can flourish even in this harsh desert wasteland! Although hatred and pain will always exist, I have found that there is an antidote, that being the caring and love that arrives in the form of letters that float through these prison walls like magic, carrying a drug stronger than the poison of hate. You who write to me have given me hope and strength, you have taught me the meaning of true friendship and humanity. You have restored what society has tried to take from me. It is not the length of life that matters, but rather the richness and quality of life. Thanks to you, my friends, I have the knowledge that I have worth and value as a human being. - Richard Rossi - Arizona death row www.ccadp.org/richardrossi.htm (Rossi just wrote a book which was published in the US and in France. CCADP is thanked in the introduction. )
|
|
|
Post by CCADP on May 15, 2005 0:13:43 GMT -5
some comments from some prisoners on what having penpals means to them :
Prisoners Write On What Having Penpals/Webpages Has Meant To Them "I want to thank you. I do not dramatize or exaggerate when I tell you I believe you have served as a conduit that saved my life. In the despair that can overwhelm us here, I was very seriously considering suicide or waiving my appeals. Because of you I have found reason for fighting, reason for living, and happiness beyond measure." - Texas death row prisoner
Another wrote: "Your site has changed my life, it taught me to love to write, except when it gets over 100 degrees in my tiny cell. But it helped me hang on to life; most times while on death row I wanted to give up and die, not only cause someone was gone because of me or cause I lost everything. But I felt like I was worthless. [Because of you]… I was blessed with another chance." - New Jersey death row prisoner
"...I can't thank you enough, I've found both my sons only because of your webpage you put up for me....I received many letters from people willing to help me in my search...thank you again for all your help. The difference you're making in our life on death row, is more than can be put in writing. Thank you." - Florida prisoner Glen Rogers "I really appreciate what ya'll are doing, its a great help to us guys on DR. I've gotten a lot of penpals because of CCADP's webpage, so, I've got a window to the outside world. I'm able to learn about different cultures and customs, I've made a lot of good friends, when I'm writing my penpals and reading their letters, I'm no longer trapped in this 8 by 5, but off in different parts of the country and world seeing through their eyes. I really do appreciate what you all are doing. Thank you." Alabama prisoner Wes Quick
"... Yes, many, many people have written to me. They said that they've seen information about my case on the CCADP website." -Indiana prisoner Zolo Agona Azania
"...I am sending you this letter to thank you both for helping me get on the web and meet new people. I now have four new penpals and the mail has been overwhelming. Thank you so much" Nevada prisoner Richard Haberstroh
"...I recieved a lot of Christmas cards and I owe it all to you two. Thank you so much for your internet." Montana prisoner Daniel Johnson
"A little over a year ago,...I had you put me on your website for the penpal program, which you did and I'm very appreciative for your doing so....I have found someone to write to...I also thank and commend you all for everything that you do in regards to those on Death Rows throughout the United States. The service you provide does make a difference in our lives, sometimes its the difference between ones staying grounded and in reality and one losing it mentally and never returning. What you do counts!" Texas prisoner Joseph Nichols
"I want to thank you both for the great work you are doing in terms of giving death row prisoners a venue to articulate their thoughts and ideas." California prisoner Steve Champion
" I heard from three penpals in 2 weeks who visited your sight. I want you to know it is a success in getting the word out about the death penalty. You may not get many letters of praise but I want you to know your efforts are appreciated by MANY here on death row. You have helped out a lot of people with your service. " Alabama prisoner Michael Taylor
"I have been on your website for about a year...By the way I really like your internet a lot, I have found a lot of nice people from your website. I also want to thank you for that as well." Kentucky prisoner Larry Osborne since released!!!!
"A very nice lady who lives in ****** saw it the other day...and her decided she wants to write to me, oh, she are going to keep writing and be a real friend to me, and wants to help me....and she seems like a very very nice lady. So that was wonderful yes, I had got a card from that lady. " Florida prisoner David Lee Thomas
|
|
|
Post by Lili on May 19, 2005 7:57:13 GMT -5
I have very mixed feelings about writing to someone on the death row, you can say that I am pretty confused about that. What if I come to like that person, as I probably would and consider him/her a friend and then one day my friend gets killed..it would hurt so much..I don’t mind if you good people think of me as a coward and selfish person, because I am aware that those thoughts make me one! The other thing is that I am quite happy person and content with my life, so if I write to someone in such terrible position it would sound somehow cruel..”Hi I am fine and how are you!!!!” sounds like a persiflage in some way. On the other hand when I read how much the letters from the “outside” world mean to those poor people on the death row, I think that my sacrifice is nothing compared to that how much those contacts mean to them. I am really not sure about this matter. Maybe if I knew that there is someone on the death row to whom no one else writes, maybe I would consider sending a letter to him/her. I can’t even imagine how hard it is in that horrible place to see other people getting post and you don’t. So Tracy if you know anyone who doesn’t have a pan pal yet, let me know.
|
|
|
Post by CCADP on May 19, 2005 8:05:57 GMT -5
I'll send someone Lilli; I get new letters here every days seeking penpals so I will let you know later today People often think that; about is it ok to talk about life and normal things to someone locked in a box. It has been my experience that they love to hear about the details of normal life; when they are just staring at grey walls all day often with no reading material and no conversation; its nice to be able to remember that there is a real life out there - it seems odd; but its been true from all prisoners I have heard from
|
|
|
Post by CCADP on May 19, 2005 8:06:53 GMT -5
It IS hard when someone is executed. But at least you can know u made their time here a little brighter and gave them the hope and knowledge that they have worth.
|
|
|
Post by Lili on May 19, 2005 8:17:54 GMT -5
Thanks Tracy. Looking forward to hear from you.
I’ve just remembered when I used to live abroad, I’ve always asked my friends about silly little things happening back home…of course you can’t compare living freely abroad and living on the death row or in prison, just wanted to say that I can understand interest in little ordinary things.
|
|
polly
Settlin' In
Posts: 17
|
Post by polly on May 19, 2005 16:30:14 GMT -5
hi Lili
I feel the same way you do, why disrupt my happy life. I did not know whether or not to write to a pen pal , i was'nt sure how i would feel iff my friend was killed either, i'm glad somebody else feels this way ands its not just me. I am going to write someone, i just need to get the courage to write the letter now, but hopefully i will make a good friend.
polly
|
|
|
Post by Lili on May 20, 2005 5:33:25 GMT -5
Hi Polly,
Yes, it is really a hard decision. You want to make someone’s miserable life little less miserable but you know that at the same time you would be hurting yourself. I have never exchanged a word with Richard Cartwright, yet just by reading his articles, his mother’s letter and looking at the picture of him and his little girl I developed personal feelings. Last night I’ve waited to here news of his fate, even was so impertinent to ask someone I don’t actually know to send me a mobile message when news come through, and when at 2 AM a sad message came, I sat in bed in the darkness of my room and cried..for Richard, for his Mom, for his little girl. Never exchanged a word with him! I can’t even imagine what I would feel if I knew him personally, writing him and receiving letters from him. So, to start friendship with someone knowing that this person can be cold-blooded killed one day is a tough decision.
|
|
tommy
Settlin' In
Want to help.
Posts: 11
|
Post by tommy on May 20, 2005 16:39:06 GMT -5
Hi all, Joined this morning and just got back from work, it's 10.00pm here in scotland. i am a 38 years old and have a cherished and blessed life, i have contemplated becoming a penpal for some time now but prior to coming along today realized it was a huge commitment. having weighed up the issues i could not getaway from the fact that i feel it is my duty as human being to follow my heart and try to put some peace and love into some other souls life. i will be in for the long haul. advice and help please. thank you
|
|
|
Post by CCADP on May 20, 2005 16:42:15 GMT -5
Hi Tommy!
thanks for making this decision - it makes a huge difference in the life of a person condemned to death.
I am always adding new penpal requests; so please visit the penpal pages...
|
|
|
Post by peanut on May 23, 2005 10:14:09 GMT -5
What if I come to like that person, as I probably would and consider him/her a friend and then one day my friend gets killed..it would hurt so much.. The other thing is that I am quite happy person and content with my life, so if I write to someone in such terrible position it would sound somehow cruel..”Hi I am fine and how are you!!!!” sounds like a persiflage in some way. Lili, I had been writing to Doug Roberts (Texas DR) for 8 years. He was executed April 20, 2005. He became a very dear friend over the years, and I will miss him greatly. Writing to Doug was a very humbling experience for me. It showed me that even on my worst days, I am truly blessed. He shared his past and present, family and friends with me through his writings. He even sent family photos so I could put a face to the names he wrote about (naturally, I returned them to him). He loved to hear about the antics that my 7 kids would get up to on a daily basis. He talked me through many rough times with Derek (18), my wayward son. Derek is a difficult child, and is always in and out of trouble with the law. Doug showed me that I was doing the best I could do as a parent, and the rest was up to Derek. Doug was there as my children grew into young adults, and was there to receive the news and photos of my first grandbaby, born in January 2004. My heart aches at the loss of such a good friend. He never asked for anything other than my friendship. Many death row inmates lose contact with a large majority of their family and friends as the years pass, so the need of a friend is great. I guess what I'm trying to say is, yes it hurts very deeply when you loose a good friend, however, I'm a better person for knowing Doug.
|
|
|
Post by Lili on May 23, 2005 11:15:11 GMT -5
Dear peanut,
I am really amazed you finding time to write to someone on DR having 7 kids..you must be very exceptional woman. I deeply regret the loss of your friend. Do you consider writing to some other person on DR?
|
|
|
Post by peanut on May 23, 2005 21:15:58 GMT -5
Lili, 7 kids sounds like a lot...it was when they were younger, it's not so bad now though. They're 24, 22, 20, 18, 16, 15, & 14...and three are out of the house now. I told hubby I'm suffering empty nest syndrome just thinking about the other four leaving home!
As for if I'd consider writing another DR inmate, absolutely! In fact, I mailed off my intro letter just last week and am anxiously awaiting a reply. I will only write to one person, mainly out of dedication to that particular individual, and not wanting to commit to more than I can handle. It's definately a full time job. If you consider writing someone, be sure you'll be able to stick with it. It's so hard on them when long periods of time go by with no mail from you. They get worried about your health, or if they may have said something to offend you in some way, etc... If I knew that something pressing was coming up, I would simply tell Doug that things were going to be crazy for a bit, to hang in there with me and I'd try my best to get a few words in the mail for him. I bought "Thinking of You"...or "Hi There!" greeting cards ahead of time and would send one out with a few words in it during my high stress times...just so he'd know I was okay, and hadn't forgotten him. Like I said before, it's an extremely humbling experience.
|
|
|
Post by moghirl on May 24, 2005 3:04:39 GMT -5
Hiya Tommy, I've sent you a PM regards your post on advice for writing to inmates. As i said, if you need to know more, you only have to ask
|
|