Degrees of pain?

[jj]

Loosing someone you love is so heart wrenching. I was wondering though, are there degrees of pain in a loss? The reason I ask is because I listen to mothers who have lost a child to murder and wonder if their pain is more than the pain that a mother feels when she sees her son executed? Or is the pain a mother feels less when their child dies of cancer, or in a car accident?

In "Wittness to an execution" www.soundportraits.org/on-air/witness_to_an_execution/transcript.php3

One of the reporters makes this statement:

GIDEON: You'll never hear another sound like a mother wailing whenever she is watching her son be executed. There's no other sound like it. It is just this horrendous wail. You can't get away from it. That wail surrounds the room. It's definitely something you won't ever forget.

I think about the mother of the victim when the cops come to her door and tells her that her child has been brutally murdered. Is her wail different from the wail of the mother who just wittnessed her son's execution?

I'm really trying to understand how a mother could ever wish that pain on another mother. Well, let me rephrase that, I know they don't "wish" it, but knowing the pain why they could support the DP knowing the pain that will be felt by another mother?

Or do the victims families actually believe that the pain the inmates family feels during the execution really isn't as bad as theirs and that's how they can justify the execution?

With the two executions coming up, one which is putting one mother highly into the spotlight has made me really sit down and think if their are really "degrees" of pain and that is why some can justify the DP, but one doesn't hurt as bad as the other?

[cajunricejr]

Honestly I don't see a difference in the pain. The loss of a child in any manner has to hurt beyond belief. It might hurt more to watch your child die than to find out by other means, that might be harder to cope with.

[Mo-DAWG]

Joy said:

Loosing someone you love is so heart wrenching. I was wondering though, are there degrees of pain in a loss? The reason I ask is because I listen to mothers who have lost a child to murder and wonder if their pain is more than the pain that a mother feels when she sees her son executed? Or is the pain a mother feels less when their child dies of cancer, or in a car accident?

In "Wittness to an execution" www.soundportraits.org/on-air/witness_to_an_execution/transcript.php3

One of the reporters makes this statement:

GIDEON: You'll never hear another sound like a mother wailing whenever she is watching her son be executed. There's no other sound like it. It is just this horrendous wail. You can't get away from it. That wail surrounds the room. It's definitely something you won't ever forget.

I think about the mother of the victim when the cops come to her door and tells her that her child has been brutally murdered. Is her wail different from the wail of the mother who just wittnessed her son's execution?

I'm really trying to understand how a mother could ever wish that pain on another mother. Well, let me rephrase that, I know they don't "wish" it, but knowing the pain why they could support the DP knowing the pain that will be felt by another mother?

Or do the victims families actually believe that the pain the inmates family feels during the execution really isn't as bad as theirs and that's how they can justify the execution?

With the two executions coming up, one which is putting one mother highly into the spotlight has made me really sit down and think if their are really "degrees" of pain and that is why some can justify the DP, but one doesn't hurt as bad as the other?

i think the feeling losing a child/beloved one to a crime and the feeling losing a child/beloved one to an execution (which is also murder) is the same cruel pain...both deaths are so senseless...probably those senseless deaths caused by other human beings hurt even more than accidents or deseases...just a theory and i hope i´ll never ever experience the feeling of losing a beloved person to a senseless death.....
Mo-DAWG

[jj]

I keep hearing things like... "At least you get to say goodbye". Does that make the pain less to deal with? Knowing what day and time your child will die and then saying goodbye, watching them be lead of and then watch them die? That justifies the DP? That makes the pain easier?

I'm sorry..... I'm really having a hard time dealing with this concept right now

[cajunricejr]

Joy said:

I keep hearing things like... "At least you get to say goodbye". Does that make the pain less to deal with? Knowing what day and time your child will die and then saying goodbye, watching them be lead of and then watch them die? That justifies the DP? That makes the pain easier?

I'm sorry..... I'm really having a hard time dealing with this concept right now

It makes it worse I think. knowing that will be the last time you ever hear that voice or look into those eyes. .....Sorry flashbacks.... . I guess you could say this is a little more painful. I really don't know how to answer that question about who hurts worse, I just know either way it hurts beyond what words can describe.

[lostlove84]

I am just bassing this on everything I have read, but I dont think it hurts the mother of the inmate more or less. I do think that the mother of the victim gets the raw end of the deal as she does not know that the last time she saw her child would be the last, she does never get to say good bye that is true and I would think it would be very hard to deal with that. True it would be hard to watch your child be put to death no mater the fact that they put themself there by what they may have done. I dont think how one mother may feel should justify the execution. An execution is caried out as a result of what the person that is being executed did. This is only my opinion on the facts and information that I have read.

[CCADP]

Hi Lost...

I wondered if you might have lost someone close to you? Just because of your screen name. If so; I am so sorry for your loss...!

[justice]

I think there are varying degrees of pain.I also think some prepare themself better than others when faced with a coming loss.Be the cause of death execution or cancer,I think that despite the pain of giving up it may well be the best approach to accept the coming doom and begin dealing with it in advance rather than at time of death

[jj]

Justice said:

I think there are varying degrees of pain.I also think some prepare themself better than others when faced with a coming loss.Be the cause of death execution or cancer,I think that despite the pain of giving up it may well be the best approach to accept the coming doom and begin dealing with it in advance rather than at time of death

so you don't think it matters how much the mother of the inmate executed hurts because their death should be easier since they can "prepare" for it?

[lostlove84]

CCADP said:

Hi Lost...

I wondered if you might have lost someone close to you? Just because of your screen name. If so; I am so sorry for your loss...!

I did lose a special person to me a long time ago.

[CCADP]

I am so very sorry; to hear this. I truly hope that you have been able to find a way to heal. There are no words....I am so, so sorry.

tracy

[lene]

I have children - and I hope I never have to experience losing any of them. I think a loss is a loss. When a child dies one way or another before its parents, it is just wrong. Our children are suppose to outlive us. But if I HAD to choose, I would prefer to be able to say goodbye to my child... The loss would not be less tragic in any way, but I can just imagine how hard it would be if my last memory was a silly argument or something and then never being able to say "I'm sorry".

[tulla63]

Hi,

I really don't know what's worse and if there are degrees of pain. We're also individuals, and we deal with things in so different ways.

I'm a mother myself, and I'm not even able to imagine how I would react should they go before me. I'm listening to the KDOL radio station each Sunday now, and I've heard Ricky Cartwright's mother talking to her son at least two Sundays in a row. Remember: We don't even know if he was guilty. Still, the only thing she can do, is trying to be strong for her son.

That is against human nature. She is going through things that a mother was not supposed to go through. I'm no psych - far from it - but being a mother myself, I cannot even imagine how that woman is able to stand on her feet, and I can only imagine the only reason she does, is for her son.

She probably knows that he is innocent, being his mom. She is being forced to sit idly by and watch her son be murdered. He is healthy and he is young.

If there are degrees of pain, it's my guess she must be in the extreme end of what a human being can possibly take. So - I don't know. I'm not even sure if I am willing to survive my own children.

Love,
Turid

[mikebook]

When something happens to her children, Mum goes crazy. My mom was fine after the car accident I had until they went to get my stuff out of the car. the impound people asked if there was a fatality due to the car being almost torn in half. I was at home, and safe, but my mom still lost it...I am still her baby, and I am 42 years old and married.

[terri]

Joy said:

I think about the mother of the victim when the cops come to her door and tells her that her child has been brutally murdered. Is her wail different from the wail of the mother who just wittnessed her son's execution?

I'm really trying to understand how a mother could ever wish that pain on another mother. Well, let me rephrase that, I know they don't "wish" it, but knowing the pain why they could support the DP knowing the pain that will be felt by another mother?

Or do the victims families actually believe that the pain the inmates family feels during the execution really isn't as bad as theirs and that's how they can justify the execution?

With the two executions coming up, one which is putting one mother highly into the spotlight has made me really sit down and think if their are really "degrees" of pain and that is why some can justify the DP, but one doesn't hurt as bad as the other?

I don't think either of the families hurt any less than the other. of course they are both going to hurt from the death of their child, but trying to put myself in the victims families shoes, I guess they must find it hard to believe that the inmates family feels the same type of pain as they did when they learnt that their child had been murdered. If you see my point?
I hate to sound like a song, but in a situation like this, everyone hurts.