How Do You Go About Writing to A DR Prisoner?

[terri]

Hey,

I've been visiting this website for a long time now and I really would like to write to a DR Prisoner, but not really sure how to go about doing so?
How exactly do you write a first letter to someone on DR? How long or short should they be? And how do you 'choose' someone to write to?
Thanks for any advice.

[CCADP]

I know it may seem an intimidating thing but it truly isn't. Just go ahead and introduce yourself; tell where you heard of them and a little about yourself. We've never had anything but responses that were way too thankful that someone even took the time to write.

I would say; just pick one or two people to write to - if you choose to many its easy to fall behind and stop writing - as far as who to choose; its totally up to you - unless you decide you want to write to someone with innocence issues or in a certain state or someone who has no one at all to write to; I'd just read the penpal requests; and pick someone who you feel you might have something in common with

Really; its just like writing an initial letter to any penpal

I encourage you to write! It can make SUCH a difference to someone sentenced to death.

Tracy

[butterfly]

Hello Terri!

If you want to write to a death row inmate, it is very simple. You have to introduced yourself, just be yourself.

Through my opinion, never ask the reason why the inmate is on death row, you have to wait he/she let you know. it is better. Some let you know quickly, some don't. It depends on his/her personnality.

Something very important, be sure you can write often and never give up. If you do with no reason it is very cruel. Mail is very precious for them all.

You also have to be aware that he or she can ask you any help on his case someday.Tell her or him franckly if you want to or not.

Never forget that you are his/her eyes from the outside world. Let us know and good luck .

[ORCA]

Hi Emma, (or anyone out there who can help me)

I noticed you know a lot about writing to death row inmates, and I would be very greateful if you could help me with the basics. I mean how to get their e-mails, or where to find them?; Where to find the list of inmates to choose who to write to?; (I'm interested in women only). Can you chat with them, or only write? What I need to know is not so much "what" to write to them about, but "how" to do it.

I've been wanting to do this since I saw the movie "Monster". I was greately inspired by it, but no one has been able to help me with the technical aspect of it. I really hope you can, because I know that it would mean a lot to someone "in there".

looking forward to hearing from you very soon

ORCA

[jojo29]

Hi! Almost all inmates have no internet access (as far as I know). My sweetie is in Texas and I know they don't. You can look on this site for addresses or do a google search if you want to do that. Also, don't forget to put your return address on the letter, I know some prison's won't give the letter to the person without one. Good Luck. It can be very rewarding!

[Turid]

Hi,

Many important things have come up in this discussion, so I just thought I'd add my own suggestions.

When I wrote my first letters to death row inmates, I simply introduced myself. Told them about my interests, my family and hobbies. Because I don't have a very good economy right now, I told them that I would send money for stamps, and perhaps a little every once in a while, but that I couldn't send money on a regular basis.

I also said that if there was anything at all I could do to help, like spreading information about his / her case over the internet or other things, if I could send writing materials, etc., I would gladly do so.

My own experience is that some prisoners haven't had any female attention since they came to death row. Please be understanding of that and make it clear if you're in a permanent relationship. It sounds "moralistic" - I know, but in the long run, you might avoid confusion on the matter.

Other than that, I write a death row prisoner the same way as I write any other friend. I try to send pictures from my daily life as much as I can to try to include that person in my life. Depending on the person's need, you will soon find out what the person would like you to do and not. A good idea is simply to ask. Be open about everything, but do not ask for information about the case unless that person decides to involve you by choice of her own.

Other than that, write the prisoner exactly the same way with any other friend you're initiating contact with. It's also extremely important to be straightforward and honest - and never make promises you don't know whether or not you can keep, but I'm sure the latter was unecessary to mention. I just did in case others are wondering about the same. Hope that was OK.

GOOD LUCK!

Love,
Turid

[butterfly]

Hi Orca!

I can't tell you more than Turid and Jojo. It is perfect.

Remember, Just be yourself, honest with your new pen-friend and never give up or let them down.

Good luck!

[jovelle]

All great advice!

Just one more point to consider.....the guys on death row don't have much to call their own. It can sometimes cause a conflict if you decide to write more than one inmate at the same prison. Just be honest with them if you are writing to someone that they may have contact with.

Also, if there is a reason that yu have to stop writing them just let them know so that they know what is going on. Having someone just drop out of their lives is very hard on them....they've lost almost everything as it is.

It's very easy to be a penpal to a death row inmate. In my experience, they take friendship very seriously.

[ORCA]

Hey guys, thanks a lot for the tips you gave me. I did my search through google and I found exactly what I was hoping for. Now all I have to do is actually write the letter. See my problem was that I thought you could send e-mails to the inmates, but I guess that was too much to ask in their situation.
Anyway, now I have somebody to write to. And by the way, were any of you inspired to do this after watching the movie MONSTER? Has anyone of you seen it at all?

ORCA

[Turid]

ORCA said:

Hey guys, thanks a lot for the tips you gave me. I did my search through google and I found exactly what I was hoping for. Now all I have to do is actually write the letter. See my problem was that I thought you could send e-mails to the inmates, but I guess that was too much to ask in their situation.
Anyway, now I have somebody to write to. And by the way, were any of you inspired to do this after watching the movie MONSTER? Has anyone of you seen it at all?

ORCA

Good luck with your new pal!

I've seen the movie MONSTER, but I wasn't as impressed by it as you were. I wish it had covered some of Aileen's childhood and her upbringing. Without knowing much about her childhood, she comes across as extremely cynical - which she might have become over the years from what I know, but it does not give any good impression of where and "who" she came from. I felt that I was in the middle of a story throughout the movie and that it didn't really have a beginning or an end. (well - we know what we need to know about the end - I just wish it had covered some of the many "why's".

Aileen's background was perhaps way too discusting and sickening to be made into a movie that people would actually see.

Hopefully, there will come a book some day. And hopefully, we will get the entire story as far as it can be told.

But it sure is wonderful that it inspired you to get in touch with a person in prison - so - I'm happy for that!! -

Love,
Turid

[ORCA]

Hi Turid

I understand what you mean, and it's strange how my perception of the entire movie was totally different. I thought it was perfect in every way, for they couldn't spend too much time on her childhood. I didn't think she seemed cynical at all, on the contrary, I got the feeling that she was desperate for anyone to love her( for that's all she really ever wanted) and that she would cling to that person as a life saver and do whatever it took to keep her by her side. She didn't even care that it was not a man but a woman. However, I'm sure that at one point she stopped killing just to defend herself, and started doing it out of resentment and hate for men in general,(for which I can't judge her after all she went through since she was a kid) but her initial motive was to get money at any cost to maintain Taira Moore by her side. This woman was the closest thing to love she had ever known, and she probably knew in her heart that if she lost it, it would never come again. And boy was she right. She was terrified of losing her only reason for living.

And by the way, there are already books out there about her life. In fact I have two. And She wrote one herself while in prision, that is called: "Monster: My true Story". I still don't have that one because it hadn't come out yet when I had the chance to buy it. But if you're interested in her childhood, I recommend you buy the other two, for there they talk about all the details of her life back in Detroit. The details are chilling, but they only make you love her and understand her even more.

I also ordered the documentaries done about her life, and the interviews that she gave during her years in death row. I even have the one she gave the night before she was executed. I have her drawings, which by the way were beautiful, her Bible, a picture of the sneakers she was wearing the night she got arrested, the truth about how she was exploited by many people (including Taira) even while she was in jail, and much more.

Believe me, I got obsessed with her life, and the horror of people suffering so much, without anybody caring. It sure touched me and made me reflect upon the life of others, and not just mine.
All you have to do is surf the internet and you'll find everything you want to know about her. Her life is so sad, that you can't help but love her in a really strange way. I tell you, I wish this movie would have been made while she was still alive, I would have done everything in my power to go visit her in prision, it would have been a great joy for me.

I hope find what you want as I did.

Love,
ORCA

[Maggie]

ORCA said:

Hi Turid

I understand what you mean, and it's strange how my perception of the entire movie was totally different. I thought it was perfect in every way, for they couldn't spend too much time on her childhood. I didn't think she seemed cynical at all, on the contrary, I got the feeling that she was desperate for anyone to love her( for that's all she really ever wanted) and that she would cling to that person as a life saver and do whatever it took to keep her by her side. Love,
ORCA

Snip for space only.

Orca- your post really touched me.
I feel like I am just beginning a similar journey. Someday I am going to thank Scott Peterson because in following his trial, I came across two people on death row. Somehow I felt compelled to write them. I just wanted to let them know that no matter what they are still living breathing souls worthy of love and friendship. The responses I have gotten from both of these people has taught me so much...... about them, and about myself. I would never stop writng them now. I can't even begin to describe it.

It's too bad that Ailleen never got to know about you...... I hope somehow she does though....

Thanks for sharing.

[Turid]

Hi Turid

I understand what you mean, and it's strange how my perception of the entire movie was totally different.

I haven't ever experienced that anyone ever shared my perception of a film, music, or any of that sort totally for as long as I can remember. I don't think it was strange, but I don't think I expressed my opinion wery well. I'll try again.

I thought it was perfect in every way, for they couldn't spend too much time on her childhood.

Of course not. That would have been at least a 24 hour long film. I totally understand that. I just wished they provided some more background information. But remember - people's perpective are never the same. I just wished that at least some of what she had been going through as a child was somehow explained.

I didn't think she seemed cynical at all, on the contrary, I got the feeling that she was desperate for anyone to love her( for that's all she really ever wanted) and that she would cling to that person as a life saver and do whatever it took to keep her by her side. She didn't even care that it was not a man but a woman.

And I bet my right arm that was the fact of the matter too. I had read - well - not too much - but at least some of what happened, and I also followed up some with regards to the developments before she was executed. During this time, all of what you're referring to was exposed and discussed. I was trying to "see the film" from the perspective of a person who did not know the first thing about her, and seen from that perpective, she might have come across as cynical. (and I know she was anything BUT cynical!!!). My oldest daughter just saw it. She told me she thought Aileen came across as being extremely cynical. When all these discussions regarding Aileen were going on on lists and between other activists, I never told my daughter about Aileen, as I don't want to include any of my daughters in this too much. Her peception was that Aileen came across as being cynical. I knew she wasn't, but I did think that the film didn't quite caught that.

Apparently, I was wrong, and I am glad I was wrong, hearing about your impression.

However, I'm sure that at one point she stopped killing just to defend herself, and started doing it out of resentment and hate for men in general,(for which I can't judge her after all she went through since she was a kid)

100% agreed! And that is why I said I wished the film had some info about her childhood. If not all - which would be impossible, but at least an indication.

but her initial motive was to get money at any cost to maintain Taira Moore by her side.

Sure. But personally, I don't believe she would have actually been able to murder people to get money had she not been abused throughout her childhood. However, I understand what you mean, and I agree with what you're saying here.

This woman was the closest thing to love she had ever known, and she probably knew in her heart that if she lost it, it would never come again. And boy was she right. She was terrified of losing her only reason for living.

No doubt about that. And I think the film was clear on that too.

And by the way, there are already books out there about her life. In fact I have two.

Do you have the titles and authors for me?

And She wrote one herself while in prision, that is called: "Monster: My true Story". I still don't have that one because it hadn't come out yet when I had the chance to buy it. But if you're interested in her childhood, I recommend you buy the other two, for there they talk about all the details of her life back in Detroit. The details are chilling, but they only make you love her and understand her even more.

I will most defenitely start looking for it! Thanks!

--Turid

[ORCA]

Hey Maggie

Thanks for your post, and especially the way you ended it. Your words brought joy to my heart. But I think it was me who missed out on a beautiful friend by not having known her. The truth is that I was never interested in people on death row at all, and I didn't even know she existed until I saw the movie, and by the time I did, it was already too late. But at least she left me something precious, and that is to care for people like her.

Have a beautiful day,

ORCA

Maggie said:

Snip for space only.

Orca- your post really touched me.
I feel like I am just beginning a similar journey. Someday I am going to thank Scott Peterson because in following his trial, I came across two people on death row. Somehow I felt compelled to write them. I just wanted to let them know that no matter what they are still living breathing souls worthy of love and friendship. The responses I have gotten from both of these people has taught me so much...... about them, and about myself. I would never stop writng them now. I can't even begin to describe it.

It's too bad that Ailleen never got to know about you...... I hope somehow she does though....

Thanks for sharing.

[ORCA]

Hey Turid,

Thanks for taking the time to answer to my post in such detail.

I have to agree with you that maybe a few more minutes spent on giving more details about her childhood, would have helped a lot of peolple, like your daughter, to see her as a used and abused kid, instead of a cynical woman. That might have really changed people's perception of her.

You said you tried to see the film through the eyes of somebody who didn't know anything about her, and that is exactly how I saw it, because in fact I didn't, but still I didn't get the feeling that she was cynical, not for a minute. But then again, like you said, it is a positive thing that I didn't.

I also agree with you in that she probably would have never become a serial killer, had she not been so abused and abandoned by all the men ( and many women, including her mother) in her life since she was born.
It almost seems that she was born to be rejected and loveless, that's what touched me the most about her. Because when you investigate about her life, you see that she was really a good person, somebody who never wanted to harm anyone, all she wanted was to be loved.

And that amazes me, because there are so many of us who spend life asking for so many other less significant things, simply because we already have love in our lives, and we kind of take it for granted, and yet she didn't, she didn't have the most basic thing in life to feel she was worth something. That she meant something to someone in the world.

And about the books, I only have the name of one here, because the other one is at home and I won't be back there until tuesday, but don't worry, I'll get it for you. Meanwhile ,here's the name of the one I do have with me: "Lethal Intent" by Sue Russel.

I hope you find it so we can talk about it.

ORCA