Post by melyssamachelle on Jul 8, 2007 1:43:32 GMT -5
6-26-07- A day I dreaded for 90 days before it. I knew it had to come but had no idea what it would hold. As I got outta my rickety motel bed I could already feel my heart breaking. I told myself be strong for him. Smile!Laugh! Love! And do not let him see or even sense your fear and pain. I hurried to be there for every second of our visit. I pulled up to Polunsky Unit at 7:30am. The guards were surprisingly empathetic and rushed me through. As I walked into the visiting room a moment happened I will never forget there was my Patrick he waved and smiled so big , I blew him a kiss and rushed over to him! His face was lit up like a childs. Within the first 30 seconds without one word spoken yet we had shared a moment that is now frozen in time.As I was picking up my phone he was putting up a little sign he made it said "LSU #1"we laughed like nothing was coming. I soaked up every word we spoke , I thought nothing about anything but the moments we were sharing.Of course time is one of the cruelest elements of life and it passed all to quickly. Before I knew it the guards said you have 5 minutes. 5 minutes , no! My heart was breaking. It wasn't 5 minutes and a see you soon it was 5 minutes and that is it. I knew the next time we saw eachother he would be strapped to a gurney and taking his last breathes telling his joke.Words failed me. He begged me to not cry but my tears fell from my eyes. He put both hands up on the glass, smiled only I heard is voice crack , he said I love you girl.My feet felt so heavy I could not move them. I walked out of the room backwards wanting to look at him forever.I got to the car and OMG it was 1 , 1pm as in we have only 5 more hours. My mind was going into what are they doing to him , where is he? I replayed our visit did I say everything , did he know how I felt.I cried and then looked at my mascara covered face and said "no" I want to be strong. I fixed my makeup and drove to Huntsville. I drove all the way around the Walls unit searching for protestors and could only find 4. That saddened me a little. I wanted everyone to know a man I loved was dying. I arrived at the hospitality house went in and hugged Danny. Irene was with Patrick I eagerly awaited her return for some word from my love. But as soon as she walked in the phone rang. It was him he talked to me , I passed the phone around and let everyone say good-bye but he wanted to talk to me. He was eating cajun fried chicken , black olives and smoking marlboro reds. We joked because he was light headed from the smokes and I said you quit 16 years ago , he quipped back "what, are they gonna kill me". I told him he wasn't funny. We talked and they said time was up and he and I were both tearful and he said "hey" "do not tell me good bye , ok no good bye tell me you love me one more time" "i love you ,i love you, i love you I sobbed. He somehow got the smile back into his voice and said "you will never know or understand the way i have felt for you , I love you" then the phone clicked. I was paralyzed. Irene said he said if it was too much you do not have to come. "No way" I was not leaving him not now when he needed me. We loaded into a van and drove to the walls unit. We went and got searched and patted down. Then I noticed it was 6pm. We began the walk through the hall the hall seemed so long. I had thought they had chais in the death chamber but no it is a small room and they put you right up against the glass. He looked pale from his IV. I smiled one more time and he looked into my eyes , he saw me crying. I felt guilty because I tried to be so strong for him. The chaplin had his hand on his right leg they asks for his last words. I was screaming on the inside and he spoke then he stated to gasp a little but he awoke one more time and said "cmon lord take me , melyssa i love you girl take care of that little monster for me" after the me he started to gurgle again and the doctor kept checking his pulse , finally after what seemed to be forever he came in and simply said 6:21. They put a sheet over his head. I was crazy. They really killed him,my beloved was gone the one that hours earlier was so alive. t 630 they allowed me to be with him. Wow! A contact visit he was still warm and had sweat on his head I wiped it from him. I was so upset they didn't even remove the catheter from his arm. They had no feelings for me or him being a human. I said this is a person and somebody loved him. I loved him! He was a person. They gave me 25 minutes to be with him. I held him brushed his hair back. And I promised to end this. I vowed to him that moment I will spend my life working to abolish the death penalty. I loved Patrick Bryan Knight and I will forever. I put this online so people could understand he was loved and I hope other people can see the human said to executions.