Blog from death row

[tonyssupporters]

Hey you all,

Tony Medina has started a blog/ diary about his days on death row.
It is on his website www.freetonymedina.com
under "About Tony" section Diary.

Many greetings
Diana and Simone

Tony's supporters

[Mo-DAWG]

tonyssupporters said:

Hey you all,

Tony Medina has started a blog/ diary about his days on death row.
It is on his website www.freetonymedina.com
under "About Tony" section Diary.

Many greetings
Diana and Simone

Tony's supporters

thanks for sharing diana and simone ... i heard of tonys story but wasnt really aware of his case until you brought it up here ...
best wishes to the both of you and to tony as well ...
Mo-DAWG

[tonyssupporters]

Dear Mo- DAWG,
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH. This is so kind.

Hugs
Diana and Simone

[tonyssupporters]

Hey,

Tony writes now regularly. Today his 6 entry went online ( from february 5th ).

Diana and Simone

[biggeral]

deleted by Suzanne

[tonyssupporters]

06-06-06

I know now, that all of the bullsh*t I’ve had to deal with the last week or so with the mailroom and rank, has really gotten to me. This morning, since it was our sections day off from recreation, I showered early. When the officer asked me if I was wearing contacts, it took me a second to realize what he was asking. See, for those who don’t know me, my eyes change color. Now, I haven’t noticed it happening in a VERY long time. Two things I’ve noticed cases it, either the color of clothes I’m wearing, or my mood. BUT, thinking about it, I think it’s all the same. Since, in the freeworld, when I could pick what color of shirt or something I would wear, a lot of the times that decision was made according to my mood. Anyway, I knew then that I was in a bad state of mind, aggravated and just tired of them screwing with me behind bullsh*t reasons. I’m sorry, for those of you hoping to see maybe a short message from me, this might be another long one. Here’s the deal the mailroom supervisor, with the death row major’s help is trying to, and might succeed, in not only stealing the most detailed and creative piece of art I have ever done, but is also trying to steal the $16 of postage I had on the envelope. Alright, it’s bad enough they’re messing with my art just because it’s different. There, they’re preventing me from having a vent, an outlet to release my frustration in a positive way. BUT, get this, they’re also trying to prevent me from supporting myself and helping my case. Not only by stealing my art, which I use to bring attention to my case and my campaign, but by also saying I can not have rough copies of a book cover I have been working on with Diana for a year now. What I can’t figure out is why. I mean sure, most of my art is anti-death penalty and I know a lot of these so & so’s are so pro-death that they actually celebrate executions. I’ve heard this directly from officers. But, I don’t bother these pigs. I don’t stand at my door all day and harass them, or cuss them out, or get violent with them. I don’t do none of this sh*t, where as a lot of other guys do. Do they harass these other guys? HELL NO! they let them get away with sh*t, because they don’t want to deal with them. So, it’s like they WANT me and other guys who are in similar situations to go off and act a fool. That way they can put freeworld charges on me, which can hurt me at my new trial. See, they know I got a VERY good chance of getting a new trial and winning, and they want to do whatever they can to hurt that. How? They take my art, they’ve stolen 2 major pieces already in the last 2 ½ years, which prevents me from attracting attention from people who might want to help me. They’re messing with my book cover, trying to stop me from using it, and the book, to raise funds to support myself, my defense fund and gather more help. What am I to do? If I give in and act a fool and get violent or harass them, it’s like I’m letting them win. I’ve given them what the hell they want. BUT, if I keep doing my time as I have for the last 10 years… minding my own damn business, never even talking to the laws unless I have to, and pretty much staying out of trouble (besides a couple puff-puff-pass incidents) then it seems they will keep pushing and pushing and stealing my art and all the rest of the sh*t… SO, what do I do??? How am I supposed to keep writing the people I write? Or seeking help from new friends?

Alright, well, I’ve ranted enough on that. This morning I caught a radio program on an alternative station I listen to and, WOW, it opened my mind. It’s a program where they play a lot of weird stuff, and, this time I caught a poetry session. The sister flowing was speaking some really deep words. It allowed me to sit back and think. To let my mind flow with her words and her message and what it meant to me. Then, a little earlier tonight I was listening to an episode of HOUSE, this doctor/hospital program on TV, I can listen but not see it. Anyway, there was this “death row” inmate who was sick and they had to heal him, so he could be executed later. Okay, anyway, what got to me, was the TONE of some of it. This guy who was supposed to be on the row, he was talking about a member of his family, and how they hadn’t had any contact with him since he was sent down because they didn’t want to be looked at funny or something. WHY am I talking about this? Because, I know what the guy was TRYING to say. It made me think about one of my own family members who not long ago told me how they’d been embarrassed when they were recognized and associated with me. It really made me think, since really, if anyone had said this, I wouldn’t have expected it to be this certain person. ALL of this, the deep thinking, the thinking about this TV show and what this fake death row guy was trying to say. It’s like… I’m not sure how to explain it. Here are MANY strangers I have never met before in my life, yet they have no problem being associated with me or my name. they’re not embarrassed to talk about me and my situation to their friends and co-workers, yet someone who I was so close to once is. How crazy does that sound? For several years I have thought about reaching out to a wonderful lady I once knew, whose children I was friends with at school, and who helped my lawyer, along with her daughter who was in my class. I’ve thought about writing both of them countless times, to say thank you for them be willing to step forward to help me. BUT, I’ve always said that NO, they wouldn’t want to hear from someone on death row. I mean, these are solid citizens and church members, why would they want to get a letter from this hell hole. Well, I had just about convinced myself to write them, since I’d been following the sons career, and saw he’d gotten hurt recently. Him and his sister were 2 people from that time in my life I always considered friends. I hadn’t know it at trial, cause my sorry ass lawyer kept it to himself, but they’d even both be willing to testify for me too. Anyhow, I was ready to write them a short note, then I’m told by my own family member how they were embarrassed to be associated with me, and tonight I hear the same thing expressed on a TV show. Needless to say, I’m not going to write. Their lives are probably a lot better off and complete without me jumping in uninvited.

SO, where does all of this leave us? Why am I telling all of you this stuff? I have no idea. Really. I guess I’m just sounding off. Okay, I’m out of here. I won’t keep you reading this craziness any longer. KEEP ON WITH THE STRUGGLE….



And many more new blogs on his official website now.