Hi Steph!
I'm not 100% sure I understand which type of "risks" you're wondering about, but I would say there are a few pitfalls you should try to steer clear of. I'll mention some here, because although you might be aware of some of this as it is, there might be others reading this who aren't.
To begin with, I think it's generally a good thing to ask somebody who has a friend (or several) on death row if you don't know anyone there at all. Trying to find just "somebody" out of the blue isn't easy! If you're looking for a pal who is honest and trustworthy, ask around to get some recommendations. From people you know to be trustworthy themselves of course.
There's no denying that there are prisoners in there who will try to tell you exactly what they believe you want to hear just to come up with some more or less convincing story as to why you should send money after a shorter or longer period of time. It's happened to me. I wasn't convinced by the way he presented himself as
exactly the type of person that I would naturally go along (just too) great with. He was just trying to show himself from his best side, and that is all well and good,
but it wasn't who he really was. The idea behind it all, was to have me to support him financially. (Not with money for a lawyer or anything for that type of things, because he already had a great lawyer), but he wanted me to provide for him while in prison.
Which is also well and good - IF I could afford that. Which was not the case. Of course; afterwards, I regretted that I didn't tell him right away that my economy was extremely strained at that point, and that I could of course pay a smaller amount of money for stamps, but was all I could afford.
If I had straighted that out right away, by simply saying something in the lines of: "
I wish I could send you some money for extra food, etc., but I can hardly provide for myself at this point, but I will gladly send you some money so you can at least get some mail out to friends and family", I would have spared myself a disappointment.
When I told him that I couldn't send more money than for stamps, the letters stopped coming.
..and - I can't really blame him either, knowing the "food" they're being given and how little they actually have! I DO understand that, but fact was that I couldn't afford to provide for him.....
I am sure you know that SOME are writing people on the outside to get something more "tanglible" out of the friendship. I've been doing this for 8 years, but it has only happened to me 2 times. I did find out rather quickly though. I've also heard about a prisoner who asked a penpal to send money for him to a specific private address. That address showed to be to an individual who was in a type of position that he / she could smuggle drugs into the prison. (THAT, I'VE ONLY HEARD ABOUT ONCE), but it does happen now and then.
Be aware and be alert before you get to know your new friend. In the states where my friends are at, money can ONLY be sent to a trust fund account - and never to a private address. Don't even consider to send money that way!! Specifically not if it's not to a relative or someone you know yourself.
Another pitfall I saw lately, was a person on the outside who kept idealizing her prisoner friend to an extent where it became a little bizarre. And it was like you couldn't imagine how such a angel like person could end up on death row at all. This prisoner was - according to his penpal - so high above all the rest of us, that he would only have ended up on the row by some bizarre mistake on the court's part. (Which also happens of course.....). Once he was gone and the truth came up to the surface, the penpal got extremely disappointed, (because of HER OWN IDEALIZISATION), she went totally over the top by disclosing personal information that was given to her in confidentiality, trying to destroy his name. Despite the fact that he ws already dead.
Idealizing is the worst thing you could ever do. And I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate to feel obligated to live up others' expectations of you either... That goes for any relationship and any friendship!
And I'm sure you WILL find lots of remorseful, innocent, generous and caring people on death row. I'm only saying that I've never met any angels there. (Great and honest friends - YES - but no angels....).
Its a good thing to take things as they come. Let a friendship develop in its own pace and don't rush things. You might be in for this for years to come. Be open, honest and upfront with all things from the very beginning and if you're in a strained economic situation, it might be a good idea to make that clear right from the start. If you are in a marriage or a relationship, be upfront with that too. Some of these guys haven't even had contact with their moms since they came to death row. Some haven't had any female attention at all since they arrived there. Some might be very "hungry" for that type of attention - and no wonder!! We're all human beings, right?
It shouldn't come as a surprise if some might try to make more out of a friendship than what you are willing to get yourself into. Again: Be upfront about things and you will soon see if your new friend is in it for your mutual
friendship or for some other reason.
Don't idealize. Firstly: It's unfair to your new potential friend, although it might seem as a very generous and loyal thing to do. Remember, its not other people's duty to live up to someone else's expectations, and you're not really getting to know him / her as the person he / she really is. Also, it's likely that you would be setting yourself up for major disappointments by idealizing. Its not fair to any of you.
There ARE pitfalls, and you should be aware of at least the most important ones before you start out writing.
I'm sure I sound like a real bitch by mentioning these things, but you asked about "risks", and I thought I would share some of what I've experienced and also some of what others have experienced, so you will be aware. NOT suspicious - but AWARE.
There is a huge difference.
Also be aware that "compassion" sometimes masks itself as other things, and - GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!
The one who hears from you, is a LUCKY one!!
Love, Turid